Rev. Deacon Allen J. Batchelder

Trinity Church
Waltham, Massachusetts
September 14, 2014, Pentecost XIV

Exodus 14:19-31, Psalm 114, Romans 14:1-12, Matthew 18:21-35

From the Book of Exodus:
Thus the Lord saved Israel that day from the hand of the Egyptians; and Israel saw the Egyptians dead upon the seashore.

From St. Paul’s Letter to the Romans:
Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall give praise to God.” So, each of us shall give account of himself to God.

And from the Gospel of St. Matthew:
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him, as many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”

Let us pray:
May the words of my mouth and the meditations of all our hearts be acceptable in thy sight, O God, our Rock and our Redeemer, our Strength and our Salvation.
Amen!

How many of you have been to your college reunion? Well, two guys, who were college roommates, sat in the reception hall of the hotel all night talking, drinking and reminiscing. They knew they would be in trouble with their wives, but at the time it didn’t matter. The next day they happened to see each other. One asked: “What did your wife say when you got to your room last night?” The other said, “I walked in the door and my wife got historical.” “Don’t you mean hysterical?” “No, historical; she told me everything I ever did wrong since she met me.”

Have you ever met people like that; ones who seem to rehash the past forever? The ones who can’t seem to get past some issue, some hang-up, some roadblock in their past? It’s as if they are still chained to something that happened years ago. I am sure that all of us have been hurt or wronged by someone in our past. And because of this we know firsthand how easy it could be to stay angry and to grow bitter to a person. The question is: did you resolve the matter with forgiveness or does it continue?

When we start living in an atmosphere of humility and honesty, we must take some risks and expect some dangers. Unless humility and honesty result in forgiveness, relationships cannot be mended and strengthened. Peter recognized the risks involved and asked Jesus how he should handle them in the future.

But Peter made some serious mistakes. To begin with, he lacked humility himself. He was sure his brother would sin against him, but not he against his brother! Peter’s second mistake was in asking for limits and measures. Where there is love, there can be no limits or dimensions (Eph. 3:17-19). Peter thought he was showing great faith and love when he offered to forgive at least seven times. After all, the rabbis taught that three times was sufficient.

Our Lord’s reply: “Until seventy times seven” (490 times) must have startled Peter. Who could keep count for that many offenses? But that was exactly the point Jesus was making: Love “keeps no record of wrongs” (Cor. 13:5). How many marriages would be saved, if we didn’t keep score? By the time we have forgiven a brother that many times, we are in the habit of forgiving.

But Jesus was not advising careless or shallow forgiveness. Christian love is not blind (Phil. 1:9-10). The forgiveness Christ requires is on the basis of the instructions He gave in our Gospel reading. If a brother is guilty of a repeated sin, no doubt he would find strength and power to conquer that sin through the encouragement of his loving and forgiving brethren. If we condemn a brother, we bring out the worst in him. But if we create an atmosphere of love and forgiveness, we can help God bring out the best in him.

The parable in our Gospel reading illustrates the power of forgiveness. It is important to note that this parable is not about salvation, for salvation is wholly of grace and is unconditionally given. This parable deals with the forgiveness between brothers, not between lost sinners and God.

There are many misconceptions about what Biblical forgiveness really is. Many people’s ideas of forgiveness have been shaped by the world and not by the Word; therefore there is a grave danger that many Christians are unfairly holding onto anger or bitterness that they should have let go of.

The first misconception is that “I will forgive, but not forget.” Many people say they will forgive, but they make sure that people know that they will never forget! Remember the wife at the college reunion. She was “historical” when her husband finally came to bed. She probably forgave her husband over the years for the things he did wrong, but she never forgot them. That is not healthy in a marriage or in any relationship; and it’s not healthy for you. If you do not forget the wrong, then it is not true forgiveness. Every Sunday we say the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” We are told to forgive, as we want to be forgiven, and the Scriptures tell us that not only does God remove our sins, but also He forgets them and He remembers them no longer.

How would we like God to tell us upon our repentance that He will forgive, but not forget? What chance would we have in entering heaven and receiving eternal life? Fortunately for us, He does; He wipes the slate clean! And He expects us to do the same. Biblical forgiveness keeps no record of wrongs and does not hold a person’s sins over their head.

The second misconception is that “I have a right to be angry!” Many people, who have been hurt, feel they have a right to be mad and stay that way. We want to remain the victim; we want sympathy. There may be no doubt that what someone did to you may have hurt you, but to believe that you have a right to be mad and stay mad is a lie from the Devil. If we are to forgive, as we want to be forgiven, we do not have the right to remain mad no matter what someone has done to you. I am not suggesting that it is always easy to let go and forgive people that have caused you pain, but the Scriptures make one thing clear and that is that we do not have the right to stay mad and hold a grudge.

The third misconception is that “things will never be the same.” Again, we say the words, “I forgive,” but things will never be the same. There is one problem with that, the purpose of forgiveness is not just forgetting and overlooking someone’s faults, but it is restoring a relationship back to the way it was before the wrong took place, it is reconciliation. This is what we talked about last week. This is exactly what God does with us, not only does He forgive our sins, but He restores our relationship to the way it was intended to be. As a matter of fact, after we have sinned and wronged God; and after we receive His forgiveness, we are placed in a better relationship than before.

I am not saying that naturally some trust may have been lost, but if we are going to forgive than we need to forgive. The slate needs to come clean, otherwise there is not true forgiveness. We cannot hold a person’s wrongs over their heads and use their mistakes against them. If a person comes to you and asks for your forgiveness, you have a duty to attempt to restore that relationship that may have been damaged.

Our Gospel reading today has another parable for us to learn from. The main character in this parable went through three stages in his experience of forgiveness: he was debtor; he was a creditor; and he became a prisoner.

This main character, a servant, was brought before the king. This servant owed 10,000 talents, which was probably equivalent to over $10 million. That same servant begged for a chance to pay back the debt, and the king forgave him. That servant then went out and saw one who owed him about 100 denarii or less than $20. He had the man put into prison for the small debt that he owed. Then when the king learned of this he was not happy because he expected that the servant should be willing to show mercy to someone else since he was shown mercy. The same should be said of us, shouldn’t it? What right do we have to hold onto anger and to hold a grudge since we have been forgiven by God; we too should forgive others who wrong us.

It is inevitable that we will be wronged at some point in time, but we do have a choice in how we will respond. The same is true of our attitude. There are many circumstances, which we cannot help, or control, but we can choose our response and our attitude. How will you respond when someone wrongs you? There are several different options, which many people choose. Some people choose to retaliate; an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth (Ex. 21:24). They forget the call from the Word of God to not repay evil for evil, but to repay evil with good (Matt. 5:38-42). They forget that vengeance is the Lord’s. Other people may choose to harbor malice, hatred and anger in their hearts towards someone that has wronged them. The longer you harbor bad feelings in your heart the harder it is to remove them from your heart and the more hardhearted a person becomes.

It almost goes without saying that Jesus is the best example of forgiveness. He not only preached it, but He also lived a life of forgiveness. Some of His last words before His death on the cross was, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

The parable that Jesus taught explained it well. It taught that since we have been relieved of such a great debt, then we should be willing to forgive. We owed a debt that we could not pay and Jesus paid a debt that He did not owe. When you read this parable you think, how ridiculous that this man who had just had a debt removed would refuse to do the same on a lesser level with someone else. This is exactly what we do when we refuse to forgive and hold onto bitterness and a grudge. We sometimes fail to realize how greatly we wronged God and what we deserve. The forgiveness that is shown to us is so great, however, if we do not forgive we will not be forgiven (Matt. 6:12-15).

We read in St. Paul’s letter to the Romans: Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall give praise to God.” So each of us shall give account of himself to God (Rom. 14:10-12).

Holding onto an offense against someone is like being a jailer, while the offending party is in the jail. You’re keeping them in there for good. You alone have the key to let them out, but you just won’t, because of what they did to you. The problem is, since you’re the jailer, you’re stuck there too. Oh, the person might be behind bars, but you can’t go anywhere either. So, in a sense, you are a prisoner too. The only way to set yourself free, is by letting them go, too.

I believe that many people are carrying around burdens upon themselves that they do not need to carry. People are bearing spiritual and emotional burdens that Jesus offers to relieve. People also are carrying around the burden of anger and bitterness that they simply should let go of. Bitterness is a burden. When you are angry or bitter at someone, you are carrying around an awful burden that is going to hurt you in every way. We are called to run the race with perseverance, but it is hard to run a race held down by a great burden.

We are called to carry our cross daily, but it is hard to carry a cross when we are bogged down with bitterness. It takes more effort to stay mad than it does to forgive. It is amazing how much time and energy one can spend nursing bitterness towards someone, and the longer we hold onto it the stronger it gets and the harder it becomes to forgive. Many people are carrying an unnecessary burden around in the sin of un-forgiveness.

In Ephesians 4:26-27 we read, “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” In other words un-forgiveness is giving the Devil a foothold in your life for other things. As a person harbors bitterness and anger in their heart, their heart begins to become hard.

Un-forgiveness can also hinder your relationships with other people. We learn in Scripture that not only is God concerned with our relationship with Him, He wants and expects us to be in good relationship with others. “Love one another, as I have loved you” (John 13:34).

Our Lord’s warning is serious. He did not say that God saves only those who forgive others. The theme of this parable is forgiveness between brothers, not salvation for lost sinners. Jesus warned us that God cannot forgive us if we do not have a humble and repentant heart. We reveal the true condition of our hearts by the way we treat others. When our hearts are humble and repentant, we will gladly forgive our brothers. But where there is pride and a desire for revenge, there can be no true repentance; and this means God cannot forgive.

In other words, it is not enough to receive God’s forgiveness, or even the forgiveness of others. We must experience that forgiveness in gentle and forgiving toward others. The servant in the parable did not have a deep experience of forgiveness and humility. He was simply glad to be “off the hook.” He had never really repented.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:32). “Forbearing one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col. 3:13).

Let us pray:

Almighty God, whose Son our Savior Jesus Christ was lifted high upon the cross that he might draw the whole world unto himself: Mercifully grant that we, who glory in the mystery of our redemption, may have grace to take up our cross and follow him; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

Amen. †